Gary Murphy of AmaWaterways
Unorthodox matchmaker and bestselling author Hellen Chen, delivered a bombshell to the singles attending her love seminar in Los Angeles recently.
Chen revealed that many singles have spent tremendous time and money to keep up the romantic actions to court a person.
"While dating, some men like to shower the ladies with gifts and dinners. They went to pick up their girlfriends from work or accompany them to go shopping. Yet, if there is no marriage in place, this dating has a high chance of break-up. All the money and time spent on this potential marital partner is all wasted because comes next Valentine's Day, this person will no longer be in your life." said Chen.
Chen also termed this as, "taking care of someone else's wife."
For ladies, Chen said that they have committed the same mistakes.
She mentioned a few examples: some ladies like to go to a guy's place to help clean up his house or cook for them. Or they thought if they have a lot of sex, it would make the guy happy.
Chen mentioned that it is fine if the lady enjoys the sex. But in a marriage, couples in actual fact do not engage in just sex everyday to hold up a marriage. Regardless of how much time they have spent together, these dating actions are in the same category of taking care of someone else's husband because most likely, this guy will end up marrying someone else.
"Modern day dating sets up the relationship to fail. Statistics shows that over 90% of dating ends up in breakups." said Chen.
Tiffany H, who was one of the attendees at Chen’s Love Seminar, said, "I have not understood why dating for a long time before marriage has liabilities. I have thought it would allow someone to really know another person."
After having followed Chen's advice to short-cut the dating time frame and marry first, Tiffany said, "My husband and I decide to date after marriage. We committed and now have our second child. I could not tell you how wonderful it is to be romantic in a relationship but it is with my spouse.”
Chen pointed out the ironic part of how most dating singles would enthusiastically do everything for their potential partners and yet after marriage, they stopped doing what they were doing before the marriage, disappointments set in and the marriage then went downhill very fast.
Contrary to the belief that knowing a person for a long time could make a person more certain that the partner would be marital material, Chen pointed out that the dating time has increased tremendously since the 1960s and yet divorce rates are going up the roof in modern times.
Chen posed the question, "So let's say it takes 3 years to know a person well. But we have known marriages that break up even after 10 or 20 years. So should someone wait 10 or 20 years to date the same person to really make sure the person is the right one?"
Bestselling author Chen, whose marital advice has been showcased in over 200 publications, radio and TV interviews in 18 countries worldwide, has earned her title of being "the Matchmaker of the Century" as she would specially pick men and women who have been too skeptical and too heartbroken about stepping into marriage.
She has helped over 100 men and women to get married regardless of their past failures.
Chen said, "In generations before us, we have less complication having to date someone for a long time or cohabit with someone first before going into marriage. Now, a person has a long list of requirements to be met and he or she might even want to check a partner's credit score before going into marriage."
To help singles and couples to learn how to make a marriage last, Chen has started a series of Love Seminars around the world.
At the seminar, she talks about why relationships fail and what men and women can do to beat the odds of separation and divorce, which is currently at 50% around the nation.
Chen's next Love Seminar in the US will be on Oct 12 Saturday in Los Angeles.
Her new book “Hellen Chen’s Love Seminar: The Missing Love Manual That Makes Relationships Last” will be launched in early Oct on Barnes and Noble.
For more information about Chen's work or her campaign, visit http://MatchmakerOfTheCentury.com
Chen's works in family, marriage and personal developments are featured in over 200 media publications in 18 countries. She is a frequent guest on independent and network radio and TV shows on FOX, CBS, NBC and ABC etc
For more information on interviews with Ms Hellen Chen, please contact
Ms Yin Chew
Podcast of the interview Download: